Meeting the Goddess Kali

I've just met the goddess kali for the purpose of learning how to "let go of the things I need to let go of in order to move to the next phase of my life." During the course of this meditation, I descended down to the depths of the earth to find myself at the top of a rocky mountain (descended to the top, I know...) and there is where I encountered Kali. I was asked to face my fears, the things that were most standing in the way of my life at the moment. So i summoned up fear of embarrassment, self-doubt, pride/vanity, envy, spite and whole host of other aspects of my character that I thought might be holding me back from fulfilling my greatest potential. The meditation instructed me to ask the Goddess to grant me the knowledge/wisdom/courage to conquer these things and here's what she said: "To conquer, you must accept."

That was totally unexpected! But in a second, I saw that it makes total sense. The minute I accept something, really accept it, there is no way it can have any power over me. I need to embrace all parts of me, even the ugliest parts. In the meditation, I faced the things I summoned, one by one, and absorbed them back into myself. Then they were no longer standing in my way, my path was cleared...I had been the only one getting in my own way. All I had to do to remove the obstacles I perceived in my character was to accept these things as part of my human nature.

After the meditation, I was to create a work of art and then destroy it in order to learn to let it go as part of the process of transformation. But for me, this didn't fit quite right with the advice I was given by the Goddess Kali. It occurred to me, instead of creating something in order to destroy it, I would create something embarassing ugly/displeasing and then put it in a place of honor, so that I could see it everyday and be reminded to cherish every part of me, even the ugly parts. There is never anything standing in my way, exept for the resistence I create against myself.

Prior to this meditation, I was unfamiliar with the Goddess Kali, only vaguely aware of her being known as a "goddess of destruction." I guess she is, but I see now that breaking/tearing down, or conquering through force/coersion, is not the only path to destruction. Ego can be destroyed non-violently, peacefully, through the loving act of acceptance.